Confidence can get a bit of a bad rap! I mean let me ask you what is the first thing that jumps to mind when you think of the word CONFIDENCE?
So many people think someone who is confident is a little ‘cocky’ or full of himself or herself.
Not in my book!
To me confidence is when you are totally comfortable with who you are and love yourself exactly as you are.
What others see then is less cocky and more calm. A quiet inner peace in fact. It means that you don’t feel the need to react to life’s passing issues because you know whatever comes your way is for your highest good, and can’t take away who you are at your core.
People that are still working on loving and accepting themselves are more often triggered by what is happening around them for two reasons:
- They make assumptions about what is going on. Most people observe something and fill in lots of the gaps to make a full story. The problem is usually that the story is bullshit and has nothing to do with the actual facts.
- They feel an emotional response to something that happens in the moment and respond to it with a charged reaction not realising that 90% of the time the emotion is coming from an internal ‘wound’ that the subconscious has filed under similar events from the past. Truth is it’s your wound running the show – not the reality of the moment.
I’ve personally spent years trapped with the above two scenarios ruling my life.
It was hard for me as I am an empath which means I am sensitive to unspoken energies. I would regularly sense something was not right but without knowing what was the ‘thing’ that I was feeling. I would quickly find some valid options to what might create the energies I felt. And these could be correct or wrong. It took me a long time to accept these energies to be there and not label them but see what happened from a quiet observation point of view.
Like probably all of you I had challenges in my life as I grew up. Most of my insecurities grew from childhood wounds of not feeling good enough. So whenever I felt like someone what ‘putting me down’ – even constructive feedback – I would feel like someone was telling me I was useless and unworthy. My inner hurts bubbled to the surface and created reactions that weren’t matched with the situation facing me in the moment. Healing the wounds releases the pain and the reactions.
My three lock and loaded solutions to not reacting and staying confidence in yourself are:
- FACTS – look underneath your story what is really going on. If you can’t tell either ask or forget it til you know the facts
- FEEL – wounds from the past are healed through feeling – and I mean feeling – the pain in your body – not reacting to it but allowing it to be and disappear ( it always does in less than a couple of minutes if you can feel it)
- FORGIVE – yes love, accept and forgive yourself. When you are in this combined energy you will blossom with inner peace and trust that life is here to support you not punish you.
So what is confidence? Confidence is YOU : loving you, as you are .